I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
