he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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