Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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