if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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