Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
