i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
