I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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