ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
