You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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