with your own penis?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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