it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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