so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
