Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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