I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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