arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
