My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
