Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
