We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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