nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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