Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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