I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize