so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
