It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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