I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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