"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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