I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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