he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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