come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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