this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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