why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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