thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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