it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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