I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
