i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize