alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize