at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
