well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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