I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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