you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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