i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
