why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
