so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
