Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
