So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
