Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize