then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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