shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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