Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
