if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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