Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
