Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
