Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize