I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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