Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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