Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
