tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
