You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
