mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this will be a night to untag.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
