Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
