Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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