I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
