We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
