I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
