One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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