its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
