haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
