I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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